perfectplaces | CALL MY BUTT OUT

[There's nothing that can hide that the situation is what it is. Shuji isn't in a state to even appreciate it.

The marks disappear first. Then the missing chunk of head regrows itself, and Heigo would be justified in looking away at this point. Bone and flesh stretching out from what remains is not a pleasant sight by any means.

The other wounds on his arms and legs remain - that simply isn't enough ink to heal him completely, not with such a grievous wound to deal with first, but it's enough to bring him back from the brink of death.]

...Heigo. [There's clarity in his eyes now that wasn't there before.] Are you okay?

[As always, concerned about his loved ones before himself.]

[Heigo loathes himself for being such a weakling, but once he can tell that the head wound has begun its healing process, he does have to avert his eyes. That's just not something he can leave burned into his memory for as long as Retrospec allows, maybe even the duration of his natural life.

Then he hears Shuji's voice and looks back at him in shock - he's weak and wounded but whole, which finally pushes Heigo into truly hysterical weeping. He presses his face into Shuji's shoulder and nods at the question, as if not seeing the tears will somehow cause Shuji to believe he's fine.]

Never - never again. Do you understand me? We both escape or both die from now on, no matter what's after us, you - never do that for me again!

[He'll make it to happy relief soon, honest! Right now angry fear still has too tight a hold.]

[For a moment, Shuji doesn't move. Then he wraps his arms around Heigo - and that hurts, now that the adrenaline has faded, but he isn't in too much pain to hug Heigo back. He'd be tearing up anyway, so Heigo won't notice.]

Surviving was always the plan. [Shuji will need to train harder so that he doesn't get hurt like this again.] See? We're still alive. We're both okay.

[Heigo is crying and Shuji doesn't think he can walk without agonizing pain, but they're fine.]

I can't... I just can't, Shuji...

[Can't what? Deal with this sort of life anymore? No, what Heigo's thinking is that he can't face the idea of a life without Shuji, which sounds a lot like he can't live without Shuji, which sounds a lot like...

... jesus christ.]

Here, l-let me get you - somewhere better than this. [He pulls back and wipes his face dry with two brisk swipes of his hand, leaving bold streaks of ink across his cheeks and the bottom of his glasses. Why couldn't his idiotic power grant him super strength, or anything at all that'd be useful in this situation? If he's going to carry Shuji, he'll have to pick just the right position to keep from making those injuries much worse.

Bridal carry won't work. Piggyback requires Shuji to hold on. Fireman's carry it is.]

This is probably going to hurt. All of it, hoisting you up and carrying you and everything. I apologise in advance.

It'll hurt less than walking. [Shuji manages a tiny smile, maybe actually reassuring this time.] I won't tell you not to worry, but don't beat yourself up for helping me.

[He'll try very hard not to groan in pain and make Heigo feel worse.]

[After a lot of careful jostling and shifting his weight and positioning Shuji just right, Heigo manages to heft him off the ground and carry him to the nearest viable option for rest - a nearby B&B. The owners insist that Shuji take a room free of charge until he can be transported elsewhere, waving away all of Heigo's insistence that he'll replace the bedding and anything else that winds up stained, then help Heigo get him set up in bed and leave them alone in the room with a big basin of warm water and a cloth.

Even more gingerly, Heigo sets about the task of cleaning Shuji's visible wounds, his hand still trembling but not quite unsteady. He's done nothing to see to his own tear- and ink-streaked face yet; that can wait until Shuji's condition is stable.]

[Shuji's wounds on his limbs are plentiful and deep: by the end adrenaline was all that was keeping him standing. If he were a human being, he would probably be looking at permanent damage because of this fight, except for the fact that if he were a human being, he would already be dead.

They have stopped losing ink, though. Small mercies.]

...thank you.

[Shuji's very, very tired, and for once it seems okay to just let himself be fussed over.]

After you're done, can you stay here...?

I'm not going anywhere.

[Heigo's voice is unusually deep and solemn, all its usual exhausted anxiety replaced by preternatural calm. Apparently, the going has now gotten tough enough that it's time for him to get going, not just fuss endlessly about it.

Finally offering Shuji a sliver of a smile, Heigo musses his hair between swipes of the cloth.]

Close your eyes, Shuji. You've earned yourself a good rest. [After a pause:] Thank you.

[Shuji would continue the 'thank you' back-and-forth, but he really does need that rest. He closes his eyes and almost immediately falls into a deep sleep.

His last coherent thought is that he hopes Heigo finds the time to sleep, too.]

[Heigo considers just climbing into bed with Shuji once the latter's cleaned up, but instead he forces himself to do some washing up of his own and then takes up vigil in a bedside chair. His eyes keep darting back and forth between Shuji's face and his chest: is his colour still alright? Is he still breathing?

With a heavy sigh, Heigo leans forward to take Shuji's nearest hand in both of his. He kisses each knuckle, lips chastely dry, then simply holds it against his mouth.]

I love you.

[His eyes are closed when he says it, as if he thinks blinkering that one sense will somehow make the moment less real. It doesn't.

He does fall asleep eventually, sat back in his chair again and listed dangerously to one side.]

[As if Shuji would have minded waking up to Heigo next to him.

When he does wake up, he smiles to see that Heigo did in fact get some sleep. He sits up, and moves to get out of bed so he can prop Heigo up and make sure he doesn't fall out of the chair.

Well, starts to move, because the second he tries to move his legs they remind him that they are not doing that without large amounts of pain.]

Ow, fuck-

[Okay, not trying to stand up anymore. That was a mistake.]

[The sound of Shuji's voice immediately jolts Heigo awake, several spots in his neck and back going off like gunshots as he straightens up in the chair.]

Ugh, I second that "ow, fuck," [He circles his neck and shoulders just enough to snap everything else back into place, then sits forward and takes Shuji's hand again.] No sneaking away on me after you've asked me to stay. I have strict orders not to let you leave until we have a better mode of transport than my shoulder.

I wasn't trying to sneak away! You were leaning over so I was going to get you a pillow so you wouldn't fall off the chair. I forgot that I was injured.

[He has definitely remembered now, thanks.

Shuji squeezes Heigo's hand, which he has so kindly placed in Shuji's reach.]

[A warm, fluttery sensation floods Heigo's chest when Shuji squeezes his hand, and he knows immediately that he's done for. After what they've been through as friends, and then as purely physical lovers, there's no excuse for such a juvenile reaction to simple contact and only one plausible reason: he really has fallen head over heels in love.

Jeez, watch someone almost die in front of you and save their life the way they just saved yours and everything changes for some reason.]

I'll take that as a good sign. [Heigo's smile is a bit too sheepish, his cheeks oddly pink.] Do you need anything? Food, water, a full fountain pen? Or do you think you're ready to head home?

[Weird how that happens.]

The fountain pen would be nice. I don't think I'm walking unassisted without more ink.

[The most difficult item to procure, of course. Heigo grins and sets Shuji's hand back on the bedcover.]

I'll see what I can do. No more attempts to stand while I'm gone.

Trust me, I've remembered that I can't by now. The blissful haze of sleep has faded.

[It was nice while it lasted.]

[Ah yes, wry cynicism - there's the Shuji he knows and...

... eep.]

One moment, then.

[Heigo ducks out so that Shuji won't see his reaction to the end of that thought, then returns a few minutes later and proudly hands Shuji a more modern bottle of ink.]

We lucked out - the owners have a fountain pen for their guestbook.

[Is Shuji just never going to be able to have a conversation with Heigo again.

Shuji downs the ink - he'll appreciate the nice design later. The remaining wounds close up, turning into only scrapes and bruises rather than deep cuts.]

Now can I get up, Nurse Heigo?

[Not until they have The Conversation...

Heigo lets out a long sigh of relief when Shuji really, truly looks recovered, his expression overflowing with fondness that he never shows so openly to anyone else.]

Only if you think you can handle staying up for the longest hug you've ever had in your life.

[And he's gonna get just that when he's out of bed, Heigo's arms tight around him, his nose buried in Shuji's vibrant hair.]

[He can handle it. This time it doesn't cause Shuji pain to wrap his arms around Heigo in return and squeeze him just as tightly.]

I'm okay, I promise. You saved me. ...Sorry for giving you a heart attack.

[But he couldn't allow for a world where Heigo wasn't okay.]

[He feels like his heart is about to explode right out of his chest. That strange link his ability accidentally awakened between them glows bright within him, the momentary glimpse of Shuji's soul and the tiny piece he keeps inside himself, and he cradles Shuji's head in his palm and murmurs:]

I'm still the one who should be sorry. I think I've broken the only rule that exists between us.

[Shuji has always felt this warm in Heigo's embrace. Little has changed, at least on his end.]

...What rule is that?

[There are a number of unspoken rules, the ones that exist in almost any relationship. Don't hurt each other intentionally. Don't talk behind each other's back. Don't share each other's secrets. Rules that Shuji doesn't expect Heigo to ever run the risk of breaking, that neither of them need put into words.]

I -

["I love you," Heigo almost says again, but Shuji would just agree and laugh at him for treating it so solemnly, wouldn't he? Of course they love each other. They always have.

But something has changed.]

- I'm in love with you.

[He would. Maybe not laugh, but he'd smile and tell Heigo that he loves him too, very much.

But in love with you is different. It makes Shuji's eyes widen, a touch of pink to his cheeks.

It isn't the first time he's been confessed to. It wouldn't be the first time he had to turn someone down, except.]

...That isn't something to be sorry for.

[He squeezes Heigo a little more tightly.

Except, even when he was literally falling apart, all he cared about was seeing Heigo smile.]

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