CALL MY BUTT OUT

[perfectplaces]

more options tba. any kind of prompt!

Comments

TFLN - NAGISA

[jinchouchan]

1. I thought he was hot!! You know, in a “I’ve gone crazy and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.....
2. Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night???
3. I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self
4. I want EVERYONE to love me! And THEN I will choose who gets to blow me all the time
5. the taxi driver actually just pulled over to let us moon a house full of people!!!!

2 (forgive me for digging up this au)

[authorialintent]

Is that a problem?

that prompt was too perfect for it tbh

[jinchouchan]

Idk its just
Like

If were gonna text and talk on the phone and stuff even tho that parts prob inappropriate too

WHY ARE U ALWAYS NAKED?????? ITS SO MEAN AND UNFAIR!!!

truly was. i couldn't resist.

[authorialintent]

I'm not always naked. I'm dressed all day, every day. You see me every day at school.

[jinchouchan]

U know what I mean Odasaku-sensei :((((

I always ending thinking abt how u must look while were talking

TFLN - ANGO

[angony]

1. Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm. Nor do any other emotions.
2. I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
3. I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
4. So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently enraged is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
5. I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.

1

[authorialintent]

2pm? That's an arbitrary time. I'm certain I've seen you frustrated before 2pm.

[angony]

I consider "frustrated" to be more of a state than an emotion.

[authorialintent]

Mmm, that's fair.
What happens at 2 o'clock?

[angony]

My best guess is that the nicotine, caffeine, and sugar levels in my bloodstream finally combine to create just the right chemical reaction for maximum efficiency.

Or maybe that's when I actually wake up.

2

[unsnarl]

Seeing as we both know what happens when you combine me with any of those things, I'm going to go ahead and guess... wrong number?

[angony]

Mm.

[A noise of assent, of confirmation - one that Ango uses so often in person that the sound of it will likely be familiar even over text.]

Wrong text as well, as it happens. In the sense of incorrect. I've never missed anything like that about anyone in my life.

[So drunk dialing? Highly likely.]

[unsnarl]

[ Oh. Well, that clears that one up. ]

On purpose, or...?

[angony]

I hope I'm more clever than straightforward "made you look" sarcasm when I set out to insult someone.

No, not on purpose.

I may have had some hard liquor of my own.

TFLN - REGENE

[purplerein]

1. We'll see. Don't give yourself an erection of false hope.
2. Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
3. I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
4. I had one glass of wine, then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having an infinite-life crisis.
5. You are the best. Or at least adequate for tempering my unholy desires.

5

[vedaandme]

Well, someone has to.

hi nerd

[thesettingsun]

I'm sorry to ask you to do this.

[Shuji isn't sure about his friend's feelings on his regained ability, but he can guess that 'it's complicated' wouldn't be inaccurate.]

I'll take you out for drinks after, I promise.

[He may need them.

In the meantime, No Longer Human sits on the table, deceptively innocent.]

just jumping right into the angony i see....

[angony]

["No Longer Human." Another phrase that rings strangely in Heigo's mind, for reasons he imagines he'll find out in some deeply alarming fashion - maybe sooner rather than later, given the strange links that have already arisen between Shuji's former life and his own. Heigo hasn't even tested Discourse on Decadence on anything relevant to his own past, like Odasaku's picture, but as soon as Shuji asked...

... well, he won't pretend this is selflessness on his part. It's actually an excellent way to avoid all the questions for which he's too scared to seek out answers, and that makes him a coward, not a hero.]

Don't be. If I thought this was unfair to ask, I wouldn't do it. [Not entirely true, or not as foregone as he makes it sound. He'll do a lot for Shuji these days.] You should know that the history of an object doesn't always follow that of its owners in any meaningful, linear way - most that I've seen so far are the opposite. I know this is hardly a regular object, but you should still know.

[His brow is deeply pinched, furrows arcing out from the line beneath the bridge of his glasses.]

seems appropriate

[thesettingsun]

[Shuji would do a lot for Heigo. Sometimes even if he doesn't ask.]

I'm not expecting you to give me Dazai's biography. Even if it doesn't tell me anything I don't already know, that's fine.

[That in itself would tell him something about what this book is not - his soul.]

[angony]

As long as you're aware of the best and worst case scenarios. I've already had to give disappointing news on that front.

[With a heavy sign, Heigo finally reaches out and places a hand on the book. At least he does have to concentrate to activate this ability, considering how disastrously disruptive the alternative would be - he finds that a certain phrase helps him focus when he repeats it in his mind, like a mantra or perhaps an invocation. Since it appeared fully-formed with the ability, he's tempted to guess the latter.

Instead of the relatively painless transfer of information he expects, Heigo's mind opens to a blast of pure white light that causes his eyes to pop wide open, pupils shrunk to pinpoints within their ring of green. He takes in a rattling breath and tries to grip the table with his opposite hand, but it's too late; he's already sliding sideways out of his chair, the book toppling to the ground beside him but mercifully not in direct contact.

Heigo's eyes are still open where he lies motionless, but he's not blinking.]

one chicken nugget (aka minami)

[minimi]

1. Had to clear my browser history.... I figured if he used the search bar and his name came up, it might be a little creepy...

2. Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything!!

3. (i) i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook

(ii) i gave in

4. I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.

5. (i) She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to
(ii) Umm
(iii) "ride the fucking rainbow"

6. WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING BOY TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!

hi heigo

[thesettingsun]

[Something Shuji's learned about his body: it can take any one blow, no matter how devastating it would be to a normal human. It'll make him start breaking down, but he won't die. At least not yet.

It isn't a hard decision to get between Heigo and the monster. It isn't a decision at all: Shuji can fight, Heigo can't, and Shuji won't allow Heigo to be hurt. Even against a creature bigger and stronger than himself, Shuji doesn't hesitate.

He does well, he thinks. He takes the slashes from the monster's claws on nonvital areas - his arms don't matter if he can still swing his scythe, his legs don't matter if he can still stand. All of that can be fixed later, and even if he's bleeding ink, the creature is bleeding out more faster.

It's when the thing is already done for that it lashes out one last time. A strike that leaves it open for counterattack, but one that hits somewhere more vital than Shuji's limbs.

Ah.

He's fairly sure he's missing a part of his skull.

It's hard to tell, when breaking down fogs up his thoughts so quickly. He knows that the monster disappears into nothing, but he can't focus on that while he's collapsing to his knees.]

It hurts... it hurts..

[That may be an underreaction to having part of his head taken off, or even to having dark purple kanji suddenly covering his skin. Heigo will probably make up for the underreaction.]

[angony]

[Heigo is tired, tired, tired of people having to fight his battles for him, but what can he do? In these very physical, very brutal battles, he has no chance of surviving without some sort of help, and he's somehow managed to amass a very large circle of fighters who would do anything to protect him. It's a strange variation of imposter syndrome, watching someone like Shuji give his all against the monster that came for him and thinking "I'm not worth this. I can't be worth this. How did I convince him I was worth this?"

So Heigo does what he can, calling out warnings when he's able to notice a potential feint or stealth attack that Shuji might miss from closer range. He thinks they've gotten through as well as can be hoped when that final strike catches them both off-guard, and before he can get closer to protect Shuji in any tangible way, the damage is done to both monster and spirit.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.]

SHUJI!! [Heigo's shriek rings out for blocks around. He sprints to Shuji's side expecting to find a corpse, but somehow the man is still somewhat upright and speaking blearily. Eyes wide and glassy with unshed tears of panic, Heigo crouches in front of Shuji and clutches him close.] What - what can I do, Shuji, how do I - you'll be okay, just - I'll fix you, I promise, I just need to know how-!

[thesettingsun]

[Even in Shuji's broken state, Heigo's scream cuts through the fog. Heigo holding onto him, pained as badly as he is. Shuji hates it.]

Ink, I have some, I know-

[He fumbles, attempting to feel out where his pockets are and missing them by a mile. It's difficult enough just to remember what it is that he needs, but: what he needs is for Heigo to smile again.]

[angony]

[Ink, of course. At least Shuji's brought it with him, a small mercy Heigo didn't expect. Holding Shuji more firmly to stop his futile movements (the last thing they need is for him to slip out of Heigo's arms and shatter his entire skull on the ground), Heigo manages to fish out the bottle and wrench it open with his teeth. Hopefully the bit he slops down his chin and all over his badly trembling hands won't do anything strange to him as a living human...]

Okay, Shuji, I've got it. Do I need to do anything with it, or... just down the hatch?

[He still looks like he's about to shatter just as thoroughly, but any sign of improvement will alleviate that into something closer to a smile.]