perfectplaces | CALL MY BUTT OUT

[Something Shuji's learned about his body: it can take any one blow, no matter how devastating it would be to a normal human. It'll make him start breaking down, but he won't die. At least not yet.

It isn't a hard decision to get between Heigo and the monster. It isn't a decision at all: Shuji can fight, Heigo can't, and Shuji won't allow Heigo to be hurt. Even against a creature bigger and stronger than himself, Shuji doesn't hesitate.

He does well, he thinks. He takes the slashes from the monster's claws on nonvital areas - his arms don't matter if he can still swing his scythe, his legs don't matter if he can still stand. All of that can be fixed later, and even if he's bleeding ink, the creature is bleeding out more faster.

It's when the thing is already done for that it lashes out one last time. A strike that leaves it open for counterattack, but one that hits somewhere more vital than Shuji's limbs.

Ah.

He's fairly sure he's missing a part of his skull.

It's hard to tell, when breaking down fogs up his thoughts so quickly. He knows that the monster disappears into nothing, but he can't focus on that while he's collapsing to his knees.]

It hurts... it hurts..

[That may be an underreaction to having part of his head taken off, or even to having dark purple kanji suddenly covering his skin. Heigo will probably make up for the underreaction.]

[Heigo is tired, tired, tired of people having to fight his battles for him, but what can he do? In these very physical, very brutal battles, he has no chance of surviving without some sort of help, and he's somehow managed to amass a very large circle of fighters who would do anything to protect him. It's a strange variation of imposter syndrome, watching someone like Shuji give his all against the monster that came for him and thinking "I'm not worth this. I can't be worth this. How did I convince him I was worth this?"

So Heigo does what he can, calling out warnings when he's able to notice a potential feint or stealth attack that Shuji might miss from closer range. He thinks they've gotten through as well as can be hoped when that final strike catches them both off-guard, and before he can get closer to protect Shuji in any tangible way, the damage is done to both monster and spirit.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.]

SHUJI!! [Heigo's shriek rings out for blocks around. He sprints to Shuji's side expecting to find a corpse, but somehow the man is still somewhat upright and speaking blearily. Eyes wide and glassy with unshed tears of panic, Heigo crouches in front of Shuji and clutches him close.] What - what can I do, Shuji, how do I - you'll be okay, just - I'll fix you, I promise, I just need to know how-!

[Even in Shuji's broken state, Heigo's scream cuts through the fog. Heigo holding onto him, pained as badly as he is. Shuji hates it.]

Ink, I have some, I know-

[He fumbles, attempting to feel out where his pockets are and missing them by a mile. It's difficult enough just to remember what it is that he needs, but: what he needs is for Heigo to smile again.]

[Ink, of course. At least Shuji's brought it with him, a small mercy Heigo didn't expect. Holding Shuji more firmly to stop his futile movements (the last thing they need is for him to slip out of Heigo's arms and shatter his entire skull on the ground), Heigo manages to fish out the bottle and wrench it open with his teeth. Hopefully the bit he slops down his chin and all over his badly trembling hands won't do anything strange to him as a living human...]

Okay, Shuji, I've got it. Do I need to do anything with it, or... just down the hatch?

[He still looks like he's about to shatter just as thoroughly, but any sign of improvement will alleviate that into something closer to a smile.]

[It tastes bad and will stain Heigo's clothes, but it won't do anything to him, no. Small mercies.]

Down the hatch. [Shuji manages a pained smile, though it's pretty much impossible to have a reassuring expression when part of your head is gone and your face is covered in letter marks, before opening his mouth.]

[Down the hatch. Heigo's careful to pour it down slowly so that Shuji won't choke, and anything that does somehow miss Shuji's lips gets collected on Heigo's other finger and wiped back onto Shuji's lower lip so that he can lick it off. This whole scene would look deeply erotic without the shattered head, letter marks, and quiet, fearful sobs that keep wracking Heigo's body, but as it is, nothing can blunt its horrific edge.

Heigo's quite sure that loved ones covered in that death script will star in his nightmares for years and years to come, maybe even forever.]

Please, Shuji... please... [Even Heigo's words sound strangely erotic, or they would out of context. He's just too desperately afraid to soothe or reassure Shuji, or do anything but plead with him to stay alive.]

[There's nothing that can hide that the situation is what it is. Shuji isn't in a state to even appreciate it.

The marks disappear first. Then the missing chunk of head regrows itself, and Heigo would be justified in looking away at this point. Bone and flesh stretching out from what remains is not a pleasant sight by any means.

The other wounds on his arms and legs remain - that simply isn't enough ink to heal him completely, not with such a grievous wound to deal with first, but it's enough to bring him back from the brink of death.]

...Heigo. [There's clarity in his eyes now that wasn't there before.] Are you okay?

[As always, concerned about his loved ones before himself.]

[Heigo loathes himself for being such a weakling, but once he can tell that the head wound has begun its healing process, he does have to avert his eyes. That's just not something he can leave burned into his memory for as long as Retrospec allows, maybe even the duration of his natural life.

Then he hears Shuji's voice and looks back at him in shock - he's weak and wounded but whole, which finally pushes Heigo into truly hysterical weeping. He presses his face into Shuji's shoulder and nods at the question, as if not seeing the tears will somehow cause Shuji to believe he's fine.]

Never - never again. Do you understand me? We both escape or both die from now on, no matter what's after us, you - never do that for me again!

[He'll make it to happy relief soon, honest! Right now angry fear still has too tight a hold.]

[For a moment, Shuji doesn't move. Then he wraps his arms around Heigo - and that hurts, now that the adrenaline has faded, but he isn't in too much pain to hug Heigo back. He'd be tearing up anyway, so Heigo won't notice.]

Surviving was always the plan. [Shuji will need to train harder so that he doesn't get hurt like this again.] See? We're still alive. We're both okay.

[Heigo is crying and Shuji doesn't think he can walk without agonizing pain, but they're fine.]

I can't... I just can't, Shuji...

[Can't what? Deal with this sort of life anymore? No, what Heigo's thinking is that he can't face the idea of a life without Shuji, which sounds a lot like he can't live without Shuji, which sounds a lot like...

... jesus christ.]

Here, l-let me get you - somewhere better than this. [He pulls back and wipes his face dry with two brisk swipes of his hand, leaving bold streaks of ink across his cheeks and the bottom of his glasses. Why couldn't his idiotic power grant him super strength, or anything at all that'd be useful in this situation? If he's going to carry Shuji, he'll have to pick just the right position to keep from making those injuries much worse.

Bridal carry won't work. Piggyback requires Shuji to hold on. Fireman's carry it is.]

This is probably going to hurt. All of it, hoisting you up and carrying you and everything. I apologise in advance.

It'll hurt less than walking. [Shuji manages a tiny smile, maybe actually reassuring this time.] I won't tell you not to worry, but don't beat yourself up for helping me.

[He'll try very hard not to groan in pain and make Heigo feel worse.]

[After a lot of careful jostling and shifting his weight and positioning Shuji just right, Heigo manages to heft him off the ground and carry him to the nearest viable option for rest - a nearby B&B. The owners insist that Shuji take a room free of charge until he can be transported elsewhere, waving away all of Heigo's insistence that he'll replace the bedding and anything else that winds up stained, then help Heigo get him set up in bed and leave them alone in the room with a big basin of warm water and a cloth.

Even more gingerly, Heigo sets about the task of cleaning Shuji's visible wounds, his hand still trembling but not quite unsteady. He's done nothing to see to his own tear- and ink-streaked face yet; that can wait until Shuji's condition is stable.]

[Shuji's wounds on his limbs are plentiful and deep: by the end adrenaline was all that was keeping him standing. If he were a human being, he would probably be looking at permanent damage because of this fight, except for the fact that if he were a human being, he would already be dead.

They have stopped losing ink, though. Small mercies.]

...thank you.

[Shuji's very, very tired, and for once it seems okay to just let himself be fussed over.]

After you're done, can you stay here...?

I'm not going anywhere.

[Heigo's voice is unusually deep and solemn, all its usual exhausted anxiety replaced by preternatural calm. Apparently, the going has now gotten tough enough that it's time for him to get going, not just fuss endlessly about it.

Finally offering Shuji a sliver of a smile, Heigo musses his hair between swipes of the cloth.]

Close your eyes, Shuji. You've earned yourself a good rest. [After a pause:] Thank you.

[Shuji would continue the 'thank you' back-and-forth, but he really does need that rest. He closes his eyes and almost immediately falls into a deep sleep.

His last coherent thought is that he hopes Heigo finds the time to sleep, too.]

[Heigo considers just climbing into bed with Shuji once the latter's cleaned up, but instead he forces himself to do some washing up of his own and then takes up vigil in a bedside chair. His eyes keep darting back and forth between Shuji's face and his chest: is his colour still alright? Is he still breathing?

With a heavy sigh, Heigo leans forward to take Shuji's nearest hand in both of his. He kisses each knuckle, lips chastely dry, then simply holds it against his mouth.]

I love you.

[His eyes are closed when he says it, as if he thinks blinkering that one sense will somehow make the moment less real. It doesn't.

He does fall asleep eventually, sat back in his chair again and listed dangerously to one side.]

[As if Shuji would have minded waking up to Heigo next to him.

When he does wake up, he smiles to see that Heigo did in fact get some sleep. He sits up, and moves to get out of bed so he can prop Heigo up and make sure he doesn't fall out of the chair.

Well, starts to move, because the second he tries to move his legs they remind him that they are not doing that without large amounts of pain.]

Ow, fuck-

[Okay, not trying to stand up anymore. That was a mistake.]

[The sound of Shuji's voice immediately jolts Heigo awake, several spots in his neck and back going off like gunshots as he straightens up in the chair.]

Ugh, I second that "ow, fuck," [He circles his neck and shoulders just enough to snap everything else back into place, then sits forward and takes Shuji's hand again.] No sneaking away on me after you've asked me to stay. I have strict orders not to let you leave until we have a better mode of transport than my shoulder.

I wasn't trying to sneak away! You were leaning over so I was going to get you a pillow so you wouldn't fall off the chair. I forgot that I was injured.

[He has definitely remembered now, thanks.

Shuji squeezes Heigo's hand, which he has so kindly placed in Shuji's reach.]

[A warm, fluttery sensation floods Heigo's chest when Shuji squeezes his hand, and he knows immediately that he's done for. After what they've been through as friends, and then as purely physical lovers, there's no excuse for such a juvenile reaction to simple contact and only one plausible reason: he really has fallen head over heels in love.

Jeez, watch someone almost die in front of you and save their life the way they just saved yours and everything changes for some reason.]

I'll take that as a good sign. [Heigo's smile is a bit too sheepish, his cheeks oddly pink.] Do you need anything? Food, water, a full fountain pen? Or do you think you're ready to head home?

[Weird how that happens.]

The fountain pen would be nice. I don't think I'm walking unassisted without more ink.

[The most difficult item to procure, of course. Heigo grins and sets Shuji's hand back on the bedcover.]

I'll see what I can do. No more attempts to stand while I'm gone.

Trust me, I've remembered that I can't by now. The blissful haze of sleep has faded.

[It was nice while it lasted.]

[Ah yes, wry cynicism - there's the Shuji he knows and...

... eep.]

One moment, then.

[Heigo ducks out so that Shuji won't see his reaction to the end of that thought, then returns a few minutes later and proudly hands Shuji a more modern bottle of ink.]

We lucked out - the owners have a fountain pen for their guestbook.

[Is Shuji just never going to be able to have a conversation with Heigo again.

Shuji downs the ink - he'll appreciate the nice design later. The remaining wounds close up, turning into only scrapes and bruises rather than deep cuts.]

Now can I get up, Nurse Heigo?

hi heigo

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